Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
