He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
