I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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