We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize