I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
