ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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