i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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