I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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