do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
