I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
