No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
