When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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