oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
