Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
