And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
