He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
They took my balls.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
