I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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