I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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