My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
