was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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