question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
it was like having sex with a tree stump
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
