Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
