I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
