That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
