I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i think my mom watched the whole time
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
