yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
