There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
