Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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