let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
