I've blown a few things in my day
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
