They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
