Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
