yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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