lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
