I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
