You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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