I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I lost the right to judge tonight
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
