I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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