I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
