I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
