Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
