Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
