The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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