I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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