this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just gift wrapped bread.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
