that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
