chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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