with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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