I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Randomize
