But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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