so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
