If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
im holly from the hills drunk
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
